Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Randomize
