So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
