If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
