Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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