I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
