yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
