What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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