been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
