My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
