Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
