Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize