In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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