its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
