i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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