Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
