Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
