how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize