So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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