Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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