i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
