So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
