Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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