when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
