I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
