oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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