So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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