i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sober January is a disaster.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
