ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
