Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
