i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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