Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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