He had one of those small greek statue penises
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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