God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Someone shattered a urinal.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
