If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
