dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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