She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.