we have officially lost it.
I wish I could teleport
Porn is love you can see.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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