Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...

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  (732): Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken... http://tfl.nu/8g1q
  Replies (55) Good night (9719) Bad night (1491)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.

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  (780): i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself. http://tfl.nu/5eaf
  Replies (33) Good night (833) Bad night (6131)
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  (716): View more from New York

  On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar

  (1-716): View more from New York

  I think you broke the trashy scale

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  (716): On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar (1-716): I think you broke the trashy scale http://tfl.nu/ebyr
  Replies (53) Good night (4322) Bad night (2387)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list

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  (443): i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list http://tfl.nu/fyip
  Replies (18) Good night (4946) Bad night (829)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.

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  (203): This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning. http://tfl.nu/sy0s
  Replies (23) Good night (1532) Bad night (3650)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.

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  (618): My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma. http://tfl.nu/chfg
  Replies (13) Good night (3890) Bad night (1106)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up

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  (952): dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up http://tfl.nu/bpgv
  Replies (2) Good night (1995) Bad night (996)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?

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  (512): I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/sh8w
  Replies (13) Good night (1332) Bad night (1402)
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  (760): View more from California

  Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.

  (818): View more from California

  Because it is cat.

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  (760): Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use. (818): Because it is cat. http://tfl.nu/tbfo
  Replies (9) Good night (1719) Bad night (729)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

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  (+31): Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming. http://tfl.nu/ki11
  Replies (4) Good night (2056) Bad night (418)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.

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  (775): He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants. http://tfl.nu/n2nz
  Replies (3) Good night (1737) Bad night (841)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found

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  (803): we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found http://tfl.nu/ms3o
  Replies (5) Good night (348) Bad night (1081)
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  (805): View more from California

  getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine

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  (805): getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine http://tfl.nu/rtlz
  Replies (3) Good night (438) Bad night (307)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.

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  (732): I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/s28n
  Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (308)
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  (707): View more from California

  Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!

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  (707): Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm! http://tfl.nu/dfwr
  Replies (1) Good night (738) Bad night (204)

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