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• (708): View more from Illinois

  you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend

  (1-708): View more from Illinois

  why?

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  operation harelip BJ is a go

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.

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• 

  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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• (661): View more from California

  random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been

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• (406): View more from Montana

  bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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• 

  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Where is everybody?

  (214): View more from Texas

  It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.

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