he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
