At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
