Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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