the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
