Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
