shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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