He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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