at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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