there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize