Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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