Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
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you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
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All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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