420 ftw
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
