When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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