okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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