i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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