i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
