PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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