Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
