Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I enjoy the company of your penis
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