Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
