How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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