piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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