This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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