id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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