hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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