Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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