new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
