Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
