Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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