Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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